August 24, 2009

Exiting T.V. Land

Exiting T.V. Land: catching air
In an effort not to get sucked in by the tube, as Mom would say...  I stopped off at a different park where some kids skate sometimes.  It’s been a while since I have done that also... about as long as it has been since I watched T.V. for hours on end.  I have to say that watching a bunch of kids stubbornly try to catch air over and over again until they get it is a much healthier way to spend my time. 

Interestingly enough, “the guy from the snow cone stand” was there.  I really wasn’t sure if I’d ever see him again.  He had an old school camera with him and was taking pictures.  Apparently, he wasn’t at all what I thought he was the very first moment I laid eyes on him.  Before he started talking to me that day, I thought he was your typical frat-boy type.  I remembered being surprised by him that day as I was again today.  He told me that he skated every day when he was a kid and even competed in his teens.  Now he has a big job as some sort of consultant at a tech company in town.  I would go into detail if I comprehended what he did exactly.  Watching the kids skateboard helped him calm down.  He also had his dog with him.  The Timber wolf was quite apparent in the face and size of his companion.  Re-Run and he simply sat next to each other for the time that we were there.  His dog’s name is Jack and his name...(big drumroll) is Marty!!!!!  He will not be forever known as “the guy from the Snow Cone stand”!  No, he is Marty, marvelous Marty! We made a pack to meet there every once in a while!!!  Somehow, this excites me.  But I know that caution should be taken.  After all, we are really meeting so that the dogs can keep each other company.  Right?

Exiting T.V. Land

August 23, 2009

When Did Television Get Legs?

Watched T.V, for over 3 hours this evening...  I SWEAR I HAVE NOT DONE THAT SINCE I WAS A KID!!!  All I can say is, television is INSANE these days.  Perhaps it has always been a bit nutty.  But what I saw over the last 3 hours on that big picture box was absolutely, positively insane!!!  The commercials are twice as loud as the programs.  There was this one weird commercial for a bail bondsman,  some advertisements for workout equipment that should be rated x, and about a hundred previews for video games coming out.  Makes me appreciate my time spent outdoors and with non-cartoon characters.

When Did Television Get Legs?

August 17, 2009

Last Days of Summer For The School Kids

Last Days of Summer For The School Kids: the beach

Last Days of Summer For The School Kids
Ahhh, this is the time of year when you can almost hear the Sun sigh as she has been a brutally hard worker for months now.  I kind of like this time of year because it’s that time of year when Mom took us clothes shopping and school was about to start up again.  Football season is right around the corner and before you know it, people will be filling up bleachers and eating concession stand Nachos.  The dogs will soon get a break from these God-awful hot summer days.  My scooter rides will be cooler and from what I have learned recently, the stars will be clearer in the cool nights because air is more dense in the heat.

I’m feeling alright... content, you could even say.  I have gotten my fair share of exercise with the wolf-pack and a pair of roller blades, eaten my weight in New Orleans Snow Cones (but it’s mostly water so it did a body good).  The gals and I are planning another trip to Hope, TX. together and I am looking forward to it.

Last Days of Summer For The School Kids: blue dragonfly 

August 15, 2009

Re-Run in Dreamland

(Feel asleep a minute before midnight.. woke up around 3am and I cannot get back to sleep)
Re-Run and I are getting closer since our trip to Hope.  She seems to approve of me more. In a funny way I feel more present when I am home with her.  She is lying on my bed with me.  I wonder if she woke up when I did or if she has been keeping watch?  I miss those supposed deep levels of REM... stage 5 style.  Up until now I could probably have counted the dreams I remembered on my 2 hands and still have a couple  fingers left over.  I have compensated for the lack of vivid dreams over these last several days.  Honestly, I am entertained, sometimes haunted by the images throughout the day. 
I am thankful for Re-Run... my ever faithful companion.  I can never leave her because I know she will never leave me.  

Re-Run in Dreamland: her watchful eye

Looks like it’s lights out again as my eyelids are getting heavy.  Maybe I can get another hour in before it’s time to wake up again.

August 09, 2009


I am taking a break...  because I am breaking.  I need a few days to figure out what I'm going to do.  This drama lately is trying to take me over and this weight on my chest is crushing me.

I keep having these dreams, nightmares...  I see Kayla and she's hurting.
Breaking: kayla is hurting
I'll be back in a few days.

August 08, 2009

Made of 90% Water

Made of 90% Water: the current
Recent dreams and sudden flashes I have had in mid day have shook me... have placed me in a matrix of information and memories.  I have begun to notice more.  Light rains, dew drops on small yellow flowers,  insects,  puddles..  kids playing, kids laughing.  It is very much like a movie, except it never ends anymore and there is no remote in existence to turn me off (to turn it off). I have to admit that it is nice to see things like this.  It does not have to drive you mad or bring you down.  It can actually lift you up at the strangest of times.  I have learned something profound though.....  

I am not as good as I believed myself to be... and the water has become muddy.  This is not a bad thing, this self revelation.  It is liberating to discover something about myself that could be the root of that sadness that sometimes knocks on my door these days.  Now I can grow more as a person as I rid myself of this false image.  It also permits me to be happy!!!!  It allows me to be free!!!!

Wise men of many cultures used water as a sort of looking glass and by the reflection of the stars/planets... a map.  And we are made of mostly water.  I just can’t figure out if we are suppose to drown in it or get baptized in it. ~wink
Made of 90% Water: the waves crash

Just remember boys and girls:  Drink lots of water and don’t piss in the River!!!! haha  

August 06, 2009

Mr. Sand Man Strikes Again

Mr. Sand Man Strikes Again: dream state 
I have never dreamt so much in my life.... or at least I have not woken up with much memory of dreams.  This last month has been out of my ordinary in many ways though and to be honest, I like having these vivid dreams.  I am accepting the changes that have come with age.  Re-Run has been more my keeper than I hers and I wonder sometimes if she is supernatural.  She slept at my feet again last night and was staring at me when I woke up this morning after yet another notable dream.

I spent the entire night hopping from one “hell hole” to another.  I was out on a dark night.  The stars were hard to see but peeped out from behind the clouds now and then.  I went to a party at a friend’s house..  it was all of the cats from a bar I worked at before I was even old enough to drink (legally).  The scene hadn’t changed much.  I looked around at the smoke dressed lights and the boys and girls....  I saw the train of spiritless bodies (watch starting at 6:45) head to the bathroom.  I got out of there.  I was in a panic.  The whole night was me just running from place to place... house parties, clubs and honky-tonks etc.  I could not find a place I wanted to be.  I ended up in a gravel parking lot staring over a puddle.  I saw an older woman with longer hair in the reflection of the shallow puddle.... I saw the stars too.  Then another lady grabbed me by the hand and began dancing around the puddle with me.  I realized somehow that she was also me and that we were God?  The sun came up and I began to walk. It was foggy and I didn’t know what road I was on or where I was going.  There was an intense estranged feeling.  I was suddenly hitch hiking and a car pulled up.  Kayla was driving.  We just looked at each other and smiled as she pulled up beside me.

Mr Sand Man Strikes Again: in the puddle

That’s when I woke up.  I know there was more... just can’t remember it all.  Maybe that’s why the collective “they” (those who claimed Freud) said we should write these things down as soon as we wake up?  (I LISTENED A LITTLE IN ALL THOSE PSYC. CLASSES I GUESS)

August 03, 2009

Rabbit Hole Recordings

More from Hope, Ladies and Gentlemen.  

Rabbit Hole Recordings
I woke up that morning in the motel and remembered a strange dream I had so I wrote that down also.
Rabbit Hole Recordings: the hole

I was strolling along in a pretty little sundress.  It looked like I was in “Hope”.  The grass was glistening green.  The sun was perfectly filtered through some extraordinarily tall trees.  I strolled easily, calmly.  I crossed through an open meadow with a different kind of grass that was a light gold color.  On the moist floor of the meadow beneath all that wild golden grass was a carpet of dark green with scattered pink flowers decorating it.  I ran my hand through the grass and felt like time stood still and a pleasant breeze caused my body to tingle slightly.  A hawk with a pattern of black and white feathers for the underside of his wings flew over me... nearly hitting me in the forehead.  He was screaming.  After circling above me a few times, he disappeared.  I kept walking.  It felt very realistic.

When I got to the other side of the meadow, I returned to a child like curiosity and immediately ran into a grove of trees.  Eventually I came to a small cliff like place with a hole or cave in the center.  I got down on my knees and looked in the hole as far as the filtered light would allow me to see.  I saw that there was a wounded rabbit at the bottom of the large hole.  I crawled down face first, getting mud all over my arms and my dress.  Right before I got to the rabbit, I felt something hit me in the back.  I looked up startled only to see a group of people throwing rocks at both of us.  I fell down beside him and noticed that he was bleeding bright red blood.  We kept getting hit with their rocks until we both lay in a puddle of blood staring at each other.  We had to wait them out before trying to climb back up.

Also while in Hope...  I read on,
 And he came to the conclusion that human perception is merely light perceiving light.  He also saw that matter is a mirror - everything is a mirror that reflects light and creates images of that light- and the world of illusion, the Dream, is just like smoke which doesn’t allow us to see what we really are.  “The real us is pure love, pure light,” he said.  
~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements, Introduction. 

Rabbit Hole Recordings: the hole in trees 


Need I even mention the irony which astounds me?

August 01, 2009

Hope, Texas

Hope, Texas: rocking chair and soda on a hot day

Well, we made it to Hope, Texas.  It didn’t take long outside the city for me to feel lighter.  The folks in Hope still sit on their porch and smoke tobacco pipes.  I saw an old man picking on a guitar.  I was stopped at a stop sign and he waved.  Then from the front porch of one old WW2-style house to another... somebody waved at me.  It was a nice break from the pace in town.  It was something straight out of a Blues documentary  you would see on PBS.  But nothing was real sad about this quiet town, at least not for me.  The trees seemed taller and the ground was healthy green.  There was one gas station.....  they still have a Slurpee machine!!!  I got a blue one for old times sake! haha Remember those?

Hope, Texas: quiet town
Re-Run and I bummed around town all day.  When the day was done, I didn’t feel like leaving so the waitress at the cafe told me there was an old motel “down the way”.  I figured,  “why drive back late anyhow?”.. So I got a room.  They were fine with Re-Run so that was cool.  She slept inside with me.  Funny she seemed more relaxed than usual and not startled so easily by every little noise.  It was nice to get away.  I even read some out of a book given to me a while back, The Four Agreements.  Now that’s not something I do very often.  It was the book everyone was reading last year.  I like the dedication in the front,
To the Circle of Fire,
those who have gone before,
those who are present,
and those who have yet to come.

I also tried my hand at writing.... not just rambling and blogging.  But really writing.  Prose-poetry type stuff.  I mostly wrote a lot of nothing and came out with a few good lines.  When I write something really good, I will share it.  For now, I think I will earn my dues. Don’t get your hopes up!!!!  Get it?

Hope, Texas: the burning tree