We Were Girls Together

I have been sooo busy.  

It has been a while since I have journaled/written.  (Boy things sure have come a long way since those teddy bear diaries with the lock and key)...  Mom got me one of those for Valentines day when I was seven or so.  I loved it and wrote in it religiously every day...  I never missed a day even if I wrote something stupid or just drew a happy face.  Actually, I have never been much of a writer and mostly doodled or wrote down words to songs I liked.

Things change when a girl grows up.  

We Were Girls Together: growing up

                  Seems like just yesterday that I was bare breasted and boyish playing ball with the boys and skateboarding without any fear of the “girls” coming out to play.  I miss that.  I miss the days that came a few years later after the arrival of such atrocities that accompany womanhood when I babysat little Kayla.  We were girls together.  We washed and fixed each others hair and I taught her dance moves.  We had so much fun.  I have been thinking about those old days lately and I have been thinking about her.  I have been thinking about myself... my true self.  What was up with that woman staring back at me in the mirror.  What’s missing?

Today is the first day in over a week that I have had time to be at home.  

I have been gazing out my third floor apartment window.  The hussle and bussle goes on without me.   I’m glad Re-Run is here with me now.  She stares at me intensely and I feel safe when she is around.  She is different than the other dogs... more self sufficient and more human.  I hardly ever have to give her commands or call her.  She is just here naturally.   

She is my Shawnodese.  

I feel strongly that she is meant to be with me and I think about what the lady at the kennel said that day, 

“they pick you, you don’t pick them”.  

Hmmmmm, indeed and I am thankful.  

Shawnodese is a spirit keeper 

                                                                         in some native american cultures.  Kayla got into that a while back.  I will never forget her telling me about my totem poles and what “clan” we belonged to.  I giggled at her back then.  I thought it was cute.  Now I’m curious.  I will have to look more up on it when I get time.