When The Caretaker Goes On Vacation

I could EAT.... or I could WRITE.  I could stay or I could go.  

When The Caretaker Goes On Vacation: on the road

“Should I stay or should I go now”, 
this is the current question.  I think I need to get away from the city..  Maybe even out of the country for a while.  I can’t just sit here going in circles.  I am tired of being a lost puppy and I want to be a wolf.  I want to see new things and maybe find myself, as they say, along the way.  


Europe has been calling my name.  So I am thinking about taking a trip there.  It would be nice to live there for a period of time.  I have yet to dislike any thing that came out of Spain and I wonder if everyone can feel that burning flame deep in their gut.  It’s a flame that is rapidly turning into a fire inside of me.  

When The Caretaker Goes On Vacation: the burning inside

All my life I just help others.  I am a caretaker.  I helped my parents, my grandparents, the neighbors, kids, my pets, other people’s pets, random boyfriends and friends who all eventually move on.  They get married (not the pets of course)....  But the friends I have had.  They have all gotten married, come out of all sorts of closets, moved to other towns, other states.  Some have had kids.  They own houses and grow their own vegetables in their backyards or they drive SUVs and enroll their sons in sports.  My parents have moved.  My grandparents have passed and my fantastic Aunt Gaggy has passed.  I don’t even know where my baby brother is half of the time and even Sweet Kayla has joined the Peace Corps.  I know there is a greater meaning in life, I want to find mine, a small justification for my existence. Making everyone smile all the time is fine and all.  But it’s becoming harder for me to do anyway.